"He's chewing everything up!" "He's shredding the children's pant legs and untying their shoes!" "He's stealing my socks and eating magazines!"

Well, of course he is. He's a puppy! He's a little predator-built to use his jaws like our hands--for grabbing and inspecting things. He will also start "teething" soon after you get him, and he will be compelled to munch on everything within his reach. It is a NATURAL thing for puppies to want to explore their world with their mouths. It's your job to make sure he only has access to appropriate things. If you fail to keep your eye on him constantly, knowing that the whole world is nothing but "chew toys" to your puppy, then get a rolled-up newspaper and hit YOURSELF several times, as you say, "BAD OWNER!-What were you thinking?"

You can't STOP a puppy from chewing. Puppies are practicing the mechanics of predation (hunting, shaking, shredding, and consuming), and exercising their teeth. Make sure your puppy has plenty of appropriate choices for chew toys. Nylabones, rawhides (if you feel they are safe), hooves, pig ears, hard rubber toys, and stuffed Kong toys should all be available for your puppy. A safe, soft rope toy is also a favorite with puppies. They like to shake and kill it. Better that than your socks and other personal items. My first husband and I came home one day to find that our Doberman puppy had devoured my husband's wallet. He had just cashed his paycheck, and all the money was in there. We thought we were going to have to dissect the dog to get the money back, when we found the folded cash in a neat little heap, behind the large urn. Fortunately, "Sundance shook and killed" his wallet dinner before eating it, and the wad of cash and important papers went flying safely into the corner.

Manage your environment. Pick up your socks. Put away your magazines. Don't let your children make themselves fun targets by running and screaming. The act of chasing them is self-reinforcing, just as is chewing and eating. Remember, that's what predators are programmed to do. You must reward the ABSENCE of all of the behaviors you want to get rid of.

"He's peeing in the house!" "He's sneaky and takes a dump behind the couch." "He won't go potty outside."

Of course he is. Inside on carpet is more convenient, more absorbent, and warmer and drier than it is outside. Wouldn't YOU choose the carpet? He's not sneaky. Dogs don't know how to be sneaky. He's being smart. You must have punished him for going inside the house, and he didn't understand the message. He still has to go, but if you see him, he'll get punished, so he deliberately goes where you can't see him and "catch" him. You need to get that rolled-up newspaper again and swat YOURSELF a good one, saying, "Bad Owner!-You've taught the puppy to go behind the couch!"

What's in it for the puppy to go potty outside? What kind of "payoff" does he get? Do you think it's FUN to stand in the cold, with the wind blowing in your face and your toes freezing? Try it sometime. Why do you think we invented indoor plumbing? There has to be some kind of rewarding consequence for going potty outside, or the puppy will never develop the desire to stop using the living room carpet. I recommend clicker training, giving the dog a signal and a treat when he has done something right.

Give your puppy plenty of opportunities to empty his bladder and bowels, especially after eating, playing and waking. Go out with him, and reward the proper behavior. Keep him in your sight at all times in the house, so if he starts to make a wrong choice, you can interrupt him and whisk him outside. Never punish your puppy for going in the house. He can't possibly imagine that there is anything wrong with his choice of location, he just learns that you become an abusive monster when you see him trying to perform a normal body function. This is incomprehensible, because he's GOT to go! You know it and he knows it. Punishment REALLY confuses him. It makes no sense. SHOW him what you want, and reward the behavior.

"He's jumping up on the kids." "He plays too rough." "He's mouthing our hands-he's turning them into shredded meat!"

Well, of course he is. Dog social behavior dictates that puppies should lick the other pack members' mouths upon greeting them. It's kind of hard to reach your mouth, when you walk on your hind legs all the time. It's fun to get petted, too, but it's hard to reach those hands when they're so high up off the floor. It is very frustrating being a short little puppy. The only thing he knows is to leap up. He wouldn't keep doing it, though, if it wasn't WORKING for him. You didn't inadvertently PET him when he jumped up at some point in time, did you? My heavens! Get the rolled-up newspaper! This time as you smack YOURSELF, say "Bad Owner!-I've taught the puppy that jumping up is wonderful!"

Now you have to "undo" what you've taught the puppy (you liar!). Teach him that jumping up isn't wonderful-sitting politely for petting is wonderful. Only pet him and give him your attention if he sits. If he tries to jump up, move away and ignore him. Act like he has "kooties." Remember, you have to REWARD the behaviors you want to encourage. If you reward a behavior by paying attention to it, don't blame the puppy if that behavior persists. When you decide that jumping up is a bad idea one day when he's 10 months old and covered with mud, and you have on your good clothes, it's not fair to suddenly start punishing him for something you had previously been rewarding. It's not only not fair-it's too late. The behavior already has a reward history.

Do not play rough with your puppy. If you do, you will teach him that you are very tough-like his littermates, and that you enjoy being bitten. If your puppy mouths your hands, you must pretend you are very frail and fragile. Do not yank your hand away (puppies like to snatch at things when you play "keep away" with them). Hold still and in a high-pitched voice, say "Owww!" This sounds like the noise that his littermates made when they meant, "You're biting too hard!" The puppy will usually stop and become immediately "apologetic" when he hears this screech. He will think that you are really a wimp. But that's ok. He will stop mouthing and biting if you do this.

I have pinpointed what I think are the three major complaints people have about their puppy's behavior. These are all NORMAL, natural behaviors that your puppy WILL engage in because he is a puppy. Not because he's a "bad seed" or a naughty dog, or spiteful because he thinks you love the cat more... He is doing these things because he is programmed to do these things. He does not have human manners or a conscience that tells him right from wrong. He doesn't realize that ANY behaviors are considered "bad" by you.

Now that you know what to do to get your puppy started off on the right foot with learning your peculiar human manners, don't you dare blame the puppy if you disregard this information and choose to let his normal dog behaviors persist until he becomes an unwelcome vexation in your home.